Loss of Our Cat Amara

We lost our cat, Amara, last week.  We rescued her at about 1 year old and she lived with us for some 14 years.  It was much harder than I thought it would be.  I am very attached to my dogs, especially my agility partner Wyatt.  I run with them every day.  I train obedience every day (now for fun) and train agility daily with Wyatt most days in the warmer months.  So I figured that the loss of our cat, who, in comparision, I don’t interact with much would not be too bad.

We started noticing the week before last that she was losing weight and looked a bit off.  I changed her food and she seemed to rally a bit.  But last Friday, I knew I needed to take her into the vet.  I could not get an appointment until Tuesday due to a Monday holiday.  Each day, Saturday to Monday, she rapidly went downhill.  When we came home Monday from cross-country skiing, she was laying down in the shower, would not even get up, and would not take food or water, so we decided it was time.  I took her down to the emergency vet clinic allowing Aidan and Dawn to say goodbye.  We told Aidan she might not come back though we were pretty sure she would not.

It would have cost $1500 just to get a diagnosis so considering her age and condition, I decided to have her put down.  I was a wreck, lots of tears, but I knew it was the right thing to do.  I did agree to have the vet take a look and she supported my decision.  They brought her in with  a nice blanket and I held and petted her for a long time.  She was at peace and dozing in the blanket when the vet finally came in and did what needed to be done.

When I got home late, Aidan was still up waiting to hear what had happened.  We were all upset and crying and comforted each other and answered Aidan’s many questions.  The next day, I had Aidan and we were both still crying and missing “Kitty” so we wrote a book based on “The Ten Good Things About Barney” by Judith Viorst.  We wrote and illustrated it and it helped to read it.

I still feel loss when going to to her hang out spot in the basement, when I throw out some of her stuff, and just at moments when you expect her to be around.   In the past, I’ve had outdoor cats, who have just disappeared.  So I think this process was harder in a way.  But she has a good long life. As Aidan wrote, “Have a good time in heaven, Kitty.  She loved our family.”