Connection and Discipline

My wife and my son tend to have many more power struggles than he and I do.  I was wondering why as we use the same discipline techniques.  I  can muster up my TEACHER VOICE on command, which helps.  But I noticed tonight that she came right in from doing other things to putting him to bed without spending time connecting with him, which is not uncommon.   I tend to go into bedtime from spending some quality time with him.  [Of course, it much easier to see what you think your spouse does wrong than what you do wrong.]  But I suggested that they spend some time together first and voila, no  bedtime power struggle.  This is only one data point but I believe it has some general validity.  This got me thinking about how this works as a teacher in the school setting.  No answers there yet but I am thinking about it.